On the reasons for writing.

The reasons for writing are many and few. They are personal and factual. I will try to decipher them here. First and foremost, I must point out that writing is a matter of necessity for me. For example, when I try to be alive, in a room, silently, alone with myself and my thoughts, I cannot survive without letting some type of energy out. This can take various forms, of which chess, general learning, and exercise have been a great help. Except in the end, there is nothing that quite satisfies my soul like writing does. Writing is a satiation of the spirit to me. I am not quite sure why… and, in many ways, I dislike the entire process quite a bit. For, I do not believe myself to be such an exceptional person who has such thoughts that people should take time to consider. Let me say that a bit clearer. I find it odd that any single person may offer words of advice and wisdom to another person. Such transmission of knowledge which then manifests itself in some real form in the “other” person’s life is an extremely peculiar situation. This is of course because, what could I possibly know and understand about your experience? I am barely holding on to my own experience and understandings. To offer one’s thoughts, and for them to be beneficial to another party, seems to me an extremely fortuitous situation. A situation in which I have very little control or say. In fact, this brings me to my general belief about my own writing. Which is, that there is an energy that passes through me which I put forth onto the page. Meaning, that I am a medium, not the origin for such knowledge and understanding as a reader may gain by reading the words I have written. This is a very important point, and one which also solves my earlier riddle of how unlikely it is for anything I have to say ending up useful or acting as an improvement in another’s life. For, it is not me, which is offering and creating such words and ideas. I simply do my utmost to open myself up to such transmission as I may receive from someplace else, and then which is offered to you, the reader. Thus, for your attention and patience, I thank you. I am diligently focused on only allowing those ideas through which offer understanding to the world. Meaning, they are not creative products which I have found because of my amazing brain or ingenious thoughts, rather they should be thought of as discoveries, much like a scientific discovery. For I am part of the world. And a part can only offer what part it is confined to. For it is impossible for me to offer the entire world. I am not the owner, not the ruler, nor even its lover. I am a simple man who feels pain and joy in turns. I wish to live fully and to die well, nothing more. The difference between me and other people, is that for me, this process of transmission through words seems extremely important to my soul. Indeed, one could call it my fate. And in fact, I believe this to be the case.

Now, let us focus on “that other place” which I mentioned. Referring to that place which the words come from. Where is that exactly? For one, I simply do not know, and neither do you. We may call it the “mystery of life”. Still, I believe it is a spiritual process for me above all. So, it comes from wherever place my soul is connected. I can say no more than this.

The words I speak are both my own and not my own. They exist in the world the same as a tree stands in the forest. They are for all to bear witness if they so wish. The reasons for writing these words are a mystery and still, the path is clear. To offer these words helps me and soothes my soul. I wish they may do the same for you, the reader.